Reasons Why You Shouldn't Jump into Another Relationship Right Now!May 16, 2023
I was the queen of dating! Let me tell you... every other week I had another boyfriend. What I thought was "cool" at that moment and the very thing that I thought validated me, is the one thing that reminds me of how broken I really was. You see, I thought my relationship status was the answer to my loneliness... but I found myself even lonelier when I was in those relationships. "How," you say? Because the more and more I created idols out of my boyfriends, the more and more I lost touch with who I was as a person and the woman that God created me to be. I was not only lonely but I was lost. I was so wrapped up in my relationships, that I wasn't even thinking clearly enough to see a purpose behind it all. Everything was for a temporary fix. Just so that I could feel "good" in the moment... while everything on the inside of me was saying the opposite. I dealt with feelings of rejection from a very young age.
I was raised by a single mother who did her best to provide me with a life full of potential and hope. Still, I couldn't help but ignore the part that was missing...having daddy around.. having that strong-knit family unit. For many years, I carried that reality around as my baggage. It was the pain that I would tuck away and hide. I would then drag that hurt with me into every single relationship I entered, not knowing that I was in turn, hurting the other person involved. I poured out all my mess on the table, somehow expecting this human being to heal my broken heart. Oh, how I was mistaken.
Honey, that hurt that you feel, that rejection, that fear, that insecurity that eats at you day-in and day-out, that ain't no quick fix! I seriously had to come to the end of myself--the end of my relationships, the end of hiding behind titles, status updates, and cuddle-seasoned Facebook pics. I hit a dead end and for the first time, after the end of a verbally abusive and manipulative relationship, I explored a relationship with Christ. I could pretend that all was well after that one encounter, but the truth is, it was only the beginning. At that point, I started on my journey of healing and a JOURNEY, it was.
It wasn't easy, sometimes I would fall back into my old ways, but the Lord constantly pursued me. Now I see why the love story that I have with Him, is the best story I've known yet. I learned about soul ties and how all my little boyfriends from my past were carrying parts of me around with them. I had to go to God to reclaim my freedom from this bondage and truly be made whole. I identified the inner workings of my heart and discovered how I was sabotaging the good that God wanted to do in my life. I was used to settling for less than HIS best. I had no standards. Standards what!?? Standards who?? I was just trying to feel good about myself at all costs. I thought that I could find purpose in a man.. purpose in a relationship. The only man I ever found purpose in, is Jesus. Because He gave His life, I have a purpose. Because He gave His life, I can live... not like the world lives, but truly LIVE and have joy. The gifts that God gives.. no man can EVER take away.
So do you find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship because you are: ...trying to numb the pain of your past? ...looking for something that you can't seem to find? ...afraid to face the realities of your present? Here are some tips on how to move forward and heal from past relationships:
- Sever any ungodly soul ties/ do not be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14)
- Take a break from dating/ enjoy being single (1 Corinthians 7:34)
- Speak to someone who you trust about your past/ or get counseling (James 5:16)
- Pray and read your bible/ find out WHO God says YOU ARE (Ephesians 6:10-18)
- Learn how to be a friend/get involved in community (Acts 2:42)
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